As a coach, I have worked with hundreds of individuals that were on a quest to change careers, transform their lives, walk away from life as they had known it, and take risks to begin again or try something new. I've had the privilege of coaching them through limiting beliefs, fear, and other people's voices in their heads that had been holding them back from what their heart desired. I have seen them act with courage as they took that first step forward to go back to school, quit their job, try out for the team or speak on stage for the first time. Each person I have coached, in some capacity, has faced the scariness of the unknown with creating the life they want. And, I did all this from the safe space of my office, in an educational setting, with full benefits, retirement, a steady paycheck, and a capped salary. Moreover, I was unhappy.
At various times in my life, I had dreamt of owning my own company to do the work I love, set the hours I wanted to work, be available for my family on my terms, and be my own boss. Not to mention that the thought of declaring my own worth and being the decision-maker was more than appealing. I talked about it, nonstop. When I was getting my coaching certifications, I spoke about how 'someday' when I start my own business, I would ... fill in the blank. I said it like it was going to happen, and I sounded sincere. Yet inside, it just felt like a wish. I mean, how could owning my own company be possible? I still have kids at home and bills to pay. How could I walk away from the security of a steady paying job, even if it wasn't great pay, to live out the dream in my heart? Wouldn't that irresponsible?
I believed somewhere deep inside that being able to work for yourself and succeed was for other people. It was for much braver people, smarter people, more capable people, or people that already had money. These were my limiting beliefs. Ironically, I could coach and talk with people all day long about following one's bliss, believing in themselves, and taking the road less traveled. We would have authentic and daunting conversations about how they would feel if they didn't pursue what was on their heart. We would work together week after week breaking down the barriers of self-doubt. I say it's ironic because I was no different than the individuals I worked with, and yet, I wasn't doing this work with the person staring back at me in the mirror, the person with desires, wants, dreams, and aspirations of having a more fulfilling and satisfying life. Thank goodness for those moments of sudden insight, mind shifts, and acknowledging what matters. You know when you are scrolling through social media, and you see all of those inspirational quotes? The ones that talk about seizing the moment, to thine own self be true, don't look back, you're not going that way? I have a computer file full of them, not to mention hanging on my wall. I have been reading and saving these quotes for years. One day I found myself pondering about why I love these quotes so much. Why do I keep them, hold on to them, forward them to friends, or share them on my Facebook page? What about these motivational sayings intrigued me when I didn't act on them or do much with their sentiment? Why didn't I act upon them? Each quote I would save or share touched my soul and resonated with me in some way. What was holding me back? In that moment of searching myself for understanding, my journey toward owning and running a coaching, training, and facilitating company began, for real. I started asking myself the hard questions and listening to the answers. I found that much of the time, the reasons that kept me in a safe job that no longer fulfilled me were not my reasons at all. They were my father's, my mother's or my well-meaning friends. I had allowed and believed everyone else's fears, doubts, opinions, and life structure of how they lived their lives keep me from fully living my own.
After much soul-searching, contemplation, and a genuine desire to venture out on my own, the transition in my life started. I found a fantastic business strategist and coach, and together, we created a game plan. I spent time in the evenings and weekends when I wasn't at my day job, building what I could of my company. I acquired a domain name and created a website. I applied for and received a business license, EIN number, state tax number, and opened an LLC. I joined networking groups, reached out to others in my field for meetups and coffee, and created a Facebook business and group page. With help from my coach, I created an online group program and had business cards made up. Yes, this was it. I was doing it! Or, was I? I was still working my full-time, safe job. I hadn't taken any risk, and I hadn't grown my company, other than the operations and logistics. I was "working" on my business. I created content, was going to events, I was talking to many people about what I was "going" to do, but was I committed? Thankfully, another moment of clarity occurred. A moment when I realized that I was just going through the motions, a lot of motions, and all I had really done was create a lot more work for myself. I had made for more exhausting mornings, more time away from my husband and kids, more time away from my ailing mom, time away from my hobbies, from reading, from joy and creative space. Seriously, what was I doing? Oh yes, I was still playing it safe. I had figured out a way to "own" my own company without having to have the courage to venture out and do it.
Making a decision and being intentional about that decision goes a long way. When I realized that the security of my unfulfilling job was the very thing keeping me from all I wanted and all that I was working so hard for, I walked into my boss's office and resigned. I didn't know how I would feel when I walked out of there. I didn't know if I would immediately freak out and be filled with anxiety and fear or be at peace. I can happily say it was the latter. The unexpected part of my resignation was my boss's words when I told her why I was leaving. She smiled wide and said, "Of course, how can you start a company and coach others on facing their fears, stepping out of their comfort zone, giving themselves permission to try and maybe fail, if you are not willing to do it yourself?" Exactly!
The moment I resigned, I was living my truth. I became someone who believes in herself and in living life on her own terms. Someone who believes it is okay to try, fail, and try again. Someone, who when faced with fear, acts with courage, faith, and perseverance to make her dreams come true without restraints.
Leaping from a secure job to entrepreneurship is scary, and it's exhilarating. It's not for the faint of heart, but for me, it is worth not having regrets. None of us know what tomorrow will bring. I think I will be successful in my endeavors, and if not, I trust myself to know what to do next. The lesson for me in all this is to walk the walk, be an example, and live an authentic life.
When you ask yourself the hard questions, are you walking the walk in your life?